So the buggers tried a new tactic this week and attempted to bar my entrance using my own ammo - namely a cunningly crafted display of new books fashioned from a leather-bound limited edition copy of the SAS War Diaries and Sun Tzu's L'art de la Guerre. The b*astards, as Sean would have said.
Undeterred, I tunnelled in via the back entrance and installed a back-up copy of the (as-yet unfinished) Library Catalogue in order to stake my claim on the computer.
The history-walla made an unexpected incursion this week, which nearly blew my southern defences, but I fought her off with a strategically inserted USB and a few Official Histories of the Great War dictated by former Club members, she retired back to Oxford down, but not out.
Meanwhile, over in Eastern India,
reinforcements are continuing to pour in via the Amazon supply line and territories are being gradually marked out so that the hapless Library explorer may, at some point in the near future, be able to negotiate the overgrown jungle of books, with greater ease, (though I suspect the signage may have to be improved yet further before said whiskered and frankly occasionally tipsy explorers succeed in successfully circumnavigating the library).
Well that's me for another week. Toodle-pip
This week a truce seems to have been declared and for the first time in months, I was able to take up my position without dismantling any barricades. The cannon had returned to its post guarding the front desk and there was not a vicar in sight - must make a note to reassure George Carey that we are not shooting Christians.
What's more, the CO seems to be in the mood for compromise: the old carrot-and-stick manoeuvre. Chances are, if we relinquish our hold on the western library front, we'll be moved to a new fort complete with bespoke ammo (bookcases) and maybe even a few toy soldiers should we care to re-enact any of Napoleon's campaigns in the near future. The Scouse Historian has not reappeared to demand the right to rifle through my archives in search of secret despatches from the lines at Waterloo - must make a note to distract him when he does.
Meanwhile the expansion into East India is proceeding smoothly - shame I don't drink tea as offers are flooding in from all sides and the locals are terribly friendly: they include a man from Dagenham - don't know his name, but he's certainly Barking - must make a note to get him promoted.
Must sign off now - Royal Engineers expected to sort out the officers mess (I know - at their age they ought to clean it up themselves) - must make a note to buy them a broom.
