I managed to solve the mystery of who Napoleon is with the aid of Tristan Langlois writing in The Chap magazine. Clearly Napoleon is a Gravy Boat and the Prussian General Blucher, a fine Wurst. You see: my knowledge of Military History is improving in leaps and bounds.
Meanwhile the enemy within have occupied the Library barricading the entrance to my office/broom cupboard with tactical use of thick black curtains, fairy lights and DJ decks and inserted a disco floor where my users would normally sit around in the afternoons nodding off over a comforting volume of Churchill's greatest speeches.
I resorted to chairing a meeting of the History sub-committee, where I donned my best UN Blue Beret to hold the line between the Historian whose deadline had slipped yet again and the Committee Member who in lieu of overdue drafts, seemed intent on extracting blood money. I feel I negotiated an acceptable truce before retiring upstairs to find my budget under attack from the Accountant. This opened up a new front entirely and I had to perform some fancy manoeuvres in order to outwit him before he presented his version of 'my' budget to the Finance Committee.
I left the field unhurt with head held high ....and headed for the relative safety of a Zumba class commanded by a small but perfectly formed sinuous Greek general.
Next week I intend to re-enact the Battle of the Nile with Mr Langois' help and assorted props including Cheese Puffs, Petits Fours and a few Pina Coladas
