In which the Weird Sisters discover Corporate Bullshit

Agent Fifi of Hebden Bridge in her favourite belly dance costume which had been tantalizing turtles and a few unwary males for several centuries (well - the costume wasn't doing the tantalizing by itself obviously - her fancy moves had had them gasping in awe for more than a hundred years). Here appearance from the bubbling sea - in a unconscious parody of Botticelli's Birth of Venus had the Weird Sisters confused:

'Where's 00Sparkle?' Mounitchka wailed

'Well that's charming!' responded the luscious agent Fifi 'I make a fabulous entry and all you can do is complain you were expecting someone else' 

Fifi knew how they felt however having once had to work in a undercover theatre box-office when Sarah Bernhardt had failed to turn up following an unfortunate incident with a corgi (of the canine, rather than plumbing variety) and a tray of oranges. '00Sparkle is busy with the new season of Strictly where she has been taken on as adviser for Brucie's wigs in case any of the other contestants need to borrow them. I can assure you I have loads of experience and am more than capable of taking on ...what was it? This Evil Empress of Shepherds Bush? I can defeat her in seconds with a few well practised sashays and the odd shimmy..............plus some black magic and an old Kalashnikov I was given by Alexander the Great: don't ask, it's a long story'

This confused the Weird Sisters who had often fallen asleep in History lessons and were completely unaware of what she was talking about, but they accepted her help and briefed her on the problem: catching up with the Evil Empress before she hijacked the latest Bond film which was about to go into production.

Of course the real problem with the Evil Empress was that she looked totally normal on the outside. it wasn't until she started spouting stuff like:

Our cultural levers 24/7 influence a relevant philosophy. Our multi-source, immersive and new empowerments drive non-deterministic brand images, whilst the community whiteboards a tactical, high-performing, go-to-market and omni-channel visual thinking. The senior support staff promotes our improved, diversifying, engagement within the industry. The standard-setters take a bite out of the best-of-breed performances; nevertheless the project manager drives the competent and/or non-standard measure.*

that she gave the game away, so what was needed in tracking her down was a first class bullshit-detector. Unfortunately Spies-R-Us don't stock them and the local Library had lent all its copies to a local convent whose nuns were doing the rounds of various nightclubs.

So the Weird Sisters had to get out all their old revision texts and settle down to some good old fashioned homework under the watchful eye of Agent Fifi.....

*this paragraph has been compiled with the aid of the Corporate Bullshit Generator. Useless in all situations:

http://cbsg.sourceforge.net/cgi-bin/live

I thank you