In which our heroine fights off kidnappers, Del-Boy Trotter and a lovesick Lithuanian

Dammit if the natives haven't been rebelling again in the Indies! I suspect the same subversives are responsible as those behind the anti-New-Labour conspiracy of some two months back, but this time the blackguards resorted to kidnapping....and they didn't even demand a ransom, merely hid the body (Peter Mandelson's The Third Man) behind a shelf of reference books. Now I'm not one for conspiracy theories (despite the fact that I'm currently half way through a hefty tome by Umberto Eco), but I suspect someone here definitely has it in for the previous Government. Questions will be asked of course, but a mere half of the population are now under suspicion and may be called in for questioning.


As a result of this constant sabotage, I have asked Colonel Gin-soaked of the Eponymous Gordon's Highland Regiment to stand guard for me and see if he can pick up any Intel., but he may well get caught with his trousers down while poring over our collection of Wisden's, in which case I will have to call in the SAS.

Copyright Chris Whippet. www.geograph.org.uk/profile/27922

Back at the old Naval barracks, my sale of regimental silver is not going as well as we'd hoped. After an initial flurry of interest, sales have fallen off dramatically and I am having to resort to the services of a second-hand book dealer. Let's hope he didn't learn all he knows from Messrs Daley (Arthur) and Trotter (Derek).








Work for the past few weeks has been hindered by the unwanted attention of a Lovesick Lithuanian who has been hanging around my luxury office suite (aka the broom-cupboard-soon-to-be-a-disabled-loo) like a lost puppy. I believe he is a member of the Household Cavalry (Maintenance Division), but I've had to warn the chap that - far though he may be from his Homeland - he cannot pitch his tent on my balcony which is already inhabited by a husband, two teen offspring and a selection of cats (plus any offerings those latter two beasts decide to proffer after their hunting sorties). Let's just hope he finds someone of his own age (about half of mine incidentally) on whom to lavish his attention soon, or I will have to report him to his Sargent Major.