Colonel Gin-soaked rides again (with near-disastrous consequences)

isis-k, D'artagnan and Colonel Gin-soaked nipped into Tesco's for  supplies and loaded the balloon (they decided hot-air balloons were less likely to attract unwanted attention from the likes of Captain Grimp the Grouse-hunter who, being notoriously short-sighted, was wont to be found taking pot-shots at witches on their broomsticks because he couldn't actually tell the difference between them and Grouse). Unfortunately there were no BOGOF deals going on Gin-soaked's favourite brand, so they had to nip in to Lidl which slowed them down a tad, but they daren't set of on an adventure such as this unprepared.

pic by Shugmonkey

Up up and away they went, despite the strong gusts of wind blowing from various fringe parties all over Europe and they appeared to be making excellent headway until disaster very nearly struck. Unfortunately, D'artagnan, being a rather dashing sort of chap, had attracted many stalkers over the centuries, largely owing to his portrayal by a certain Alexandre Dumas, whose works kept being turned into films and TV series. Apparently one such stalker had spotted him leaving Lidl's with isis-k and Gin-soaked in tow and hired Texan aeronaut Lee Scoresby (always up for an adventure) to follow. 

Scoresby was an honest chap, but deceived by this stalker, had set off in hot pursuit and was in fact about to open fire in isis-k and her crew. Colonel Gin-soaked of the eponymous Gordon's Highland Regiment,was the worse for wear (permanently) having been knocked off his horse during the Second Afghan War (well obviously it wasn't HIS horse as it wasn't that sort of regiment, but he had managed to borrow one from a medical friend owing to persistent Gout in his legs owing to the Gin consumption).

However, despite all his failings, Gin-soaked could not forget his training and had been on the lookout for snipers ever since they'd come out of Tesco's. He loaded his catapult and was aiming it at Scoresby's airship just as his would-be nemesis was about to open fire. isis-k looked up in horror, realizing that if she didn't act quickly, both balloons were likely to be engulfed in flames. Quick as a flash she opened her bag and got out the Gin still (though she didn't like to this early in the day) and used it to distill the air, thereby stopping everything in its tracks so she could invite both potentially warring parties to sit down at table (which she produced from a rather large pocket in her gown) and discuss their grievances. Such is the way of womanly witches. So Scoresby was soothed by words (and just one or two of the Fondant Fancies they were planning to give to Ernestina) and they joined forces and continued onwards towards England......

A plan to slay the Jabberwock (involving fondant fancies)

When isis-k got to Dartagnion's attic pad, she was surprised to notice that he was clearly 'the worse for wear'. Chasing the Jabberwock had left him with a raging thirst and he'd bumped into old Colonel Gin-soaked of the eponymous Gordon's Highland Regiment, who had got lost on his way back from Gin Lane (penny a pint) and...well, one thing led to another with predictable results. They'd even persuaded the three-legged accordionist to temporarily abandon his stool outside Paris's best brothel and do a quick Fandango. Gin-soaked was slumped on the sofa dribbling and isis-k was unimpressed.

She did what any self-respecting 3,000-year-old witch would do, and made a brew, thus

reviving both the old soldiers and asked them how they thought they were going to fight a mythical beast in that sort of state. They both looked up shame-faced:
'I was going to round up the Gargoyles' Dartagnion stammered, 'but....'

isis-k raised one eyebrow (which took her by surprise, as despite being a pretty damn good witch, she'd never - up to this point - mastered the art of raising an eyebrow in that quizzical, yet insouciant fashion so eloquently employed by her favourite actor Roger Moore, so she took a quick 'selfie' and posted it on Witchtagram)

'First you need to sort out the question of their having been on strike for two hundred years don't you?' isis-k pointed out.

'Well yes, I suppose so' Dartagnion muttered.

'As it happens, I have a plan,' isis-k beamed. 'My friend Janka the One-eyed Wonder (queen and most beautiful of all the Bulgarian witches) once helped out a young gargoyle called Ernestina who is positioned half way up the steeple of a very famous church in the north-east of England. I have absolutely no doubt that Ernestina would act as intermediary for us, as long as we get her some Fondant Fancies. Are you with us Colonel?' she asked, looking over at Gin-Soaked.

'Rather' he replied 'my gin's run out and my sword is rusty. What more motivation do I need?'

So the three of them set off for England (via Tesco's)....